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I crave insights from people regarding managing life’s midpoint hurdles, such as deep inner questions, fading relevance, growing a neck akin to a surrealist painting plus a fresh interest regarding sunny relocation programs. Lately, I read his remarks on turning 50 via a discussion: “To thrive in life’s later stages, you must cut out distractions,” he explained. “Surround yourself with uplifting friends. I’m dodging pessimists – ‘fun sponges’ – and improving at refusing requests.”

At first, I pondered: isn’t this contradictory regarding shunning downbeat folks and mastering refusal? Could that imply he needs to dodge his own tendencies? I realize – that’s typical energy vampire talk, and I admit I fit the description. Yet, we gloomy souls like to call ourselves “vibe suckers”. Steer clear of labels like “killjoy” or “buzzkill” – equating us to mundane objects hurts; we do experience emotions (even if they’re mostly bleak). In a bind, I might tolerate “melancholy luxury blanket”.

Perhaps you’re one too. Are you often the gathering’s pragmatist instead of its enthusiast? Does your thorough reply to casual greetings make people step back nervously? Do proposed “enjoyable” plans trigger a visage akin to having ingested something unpleasant? Do you strongly identify with Eeyore; has a psychic ever told you your aura is grey?

If this describes you, you’re in our ranks, and that’s acceptable. Although modern wisdom pushes folks to discard “sapping” companions, I contend we bring substantial worth. I reckon a mood hoover would have said something discouraging – or at least made a slug-swallowing face – when Jamie described his plan to write a kids’ book with an Australian First Nation main character without consulting Indigenous communities, which could have prevented a whole lot of problems, upset and offence. Such critical insights aren’t typical from “positive” friends.